Our Infertility Journey

An Infertile Wife’s Responses to “Do You Have Kids?”

My career requires meeting and starting business relationships with new people.  Ultimately, I will get asked about children.

  • Do you have children?
  • Oh, no? Are you guys thinking about children?

Of course I never give the real answer, which is,

“I have a miscarried baby in heaven, her name is Lilly and she would have been (X) years old.  And yes, we think about children all the time.  We’re currently in our fifth year of infertility treatment.  So… fingers crossed!”

Very Honest, right?  But not the best way to keep a light, airy conversation with a Client or new sales prospect – or hell, the stranger next to you in the grocery line that just decides to strike up conversation.

So here are the one-liners that I really say:

“No, we don’t have kids.  Do you have kids?”

What I am really saying:  “I don’t have kids.  Let’s redirect back to you so you stop asking me questions about kids.”

“No,we don’t have kids.  And are we trying?  I don’t know.”

What I am really saying:  “I don’t have kids and I don’t want to talk about it with you.”

“No, we don’t have kids.  We’ll get there one day.”

What I am really saying:  “I don’t have kids and I am trying, but I don’t want  you to ask any more questions.

“No, no kids yet.  It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

What I am really saying:  “I don’t have kids and I am trying, and I’m open to talking about  infertility with you” (you must be someone I think I’m going to get closet to).

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