Our Infertility Journey

My Fertility Guardian Angel

My grandma, Patricia (Fagan) Price would have been 100 years old this year.    In fact, she would have been 100 years old on April 17, 2018.

I remember the date very well because that is the day that Brett and I miscarried at 7 weeks.  I did not know at the time it was my grandma’s milestone birthday, but the story now gives me a lot of comfort.

My grandma had 8 beautiful babies: 4 boys and 4 girls.  She was an amazing mother and grandmother.  She was a sweet, caring and nurturing person.  But, she was also confident and noble.  The name Patricia (the name we share) even means “noble woman.”

What I didn’t know about my grandma is that between the 4 girls and 4 boys’ births, she had 4 angel babies.  She miscarried four times in a row.

Now, I knew my grandma was an amazing and strong women, but this was undeniable proof.   I found out about that incredible struggle that my grandma went through when I told my Dad that I had been pregnant, and lost the pregnancy on her birthday.  When he told me her story, I was moved.  I really felt a connection with my grandma in that moment and still do.  I feel like her birthday was her reaching out to me to comfort me through that day and after.

Now, I feel her presence even more.

Today, more than 2 months after my miscarriage, Brett and I got our first ovulation date that fell within the average timeframe of ovulation, and had such a dark line on the ovulation predictor test that there is no denying that I’m ovulating today (which is also a first- usually they’re barely readable).  Immediately after we saw the positive test results, Brett noticed for the first time that the initials “PF” were engraved in our bedroom nightstand.

This nightstand was given to me when I was a child, and evidently was passed down from my grandma!  We never noticed that her initials were written there until that exact moment – as if she had us notice them to tell us, “Hey you two, I’m here with you and will be through this whole thing.”

I love my grandma, and know she’s here helping us out.   My fertility guardian angel.

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